Thursday, August 21, 2025

How much is enough?? The lack of Empathy.....

   What's right, what's wrong ?

 I was cleaning the roof of my mom's house, the sides, the gutters, so that water doesn't accumulate when it rains... I was remembering your fingers on the keyboard, and I played the Waldstein Sonata, Beethoven, in the background (do you have videos of you putting your stamp on this one, or the Pathetique, or the Appassionata?)....

.......... from the roof you can see the streets and an avenue (it's a corner house).... and there was an accident, not serious... a driver didn't see a sign, I guess...
(so many signs because we're thinking about our own things without paying attention or being able to put ourselves "somewhere else").
Every limit, every law, every instruction has to do with the inability to put ourselves in another person's position, or the inability to analyze a given situation from another perspective... the inability to do the "right" thing, to do the "good" thing (Obviously, I'm not talking about "everyone," just a majority and growing percentage, judging by the daily news)....

How to capture an idea, which has hundreds of facets, in a short, clear message, with minimal room for interpretation?
I'll try starting like this...
How much is enough? ...
Do "the right thing," but what is right?
When we are infants, then toddlers, and until we enter school, we are encouraged to do good, and the encouragement is a "happy face," a smile, a caress, a kind word... all of this triggers a series of neurotransmitters related to "endorphins," called "the feel-good hormone." Then, a cycle of wanting to repeat what we did well is generated, because of how good it makes us feel. This experience is recorded in our memory and, over time, becomes a kind of internal guide, which shapes our external behavior as human beings in interaction and relationships with others, wanting to "do good" for ourselves and for others.
Pavlov researched and clearly detailed this "conditioned reflex" in a simple and operant way, or by adding other factors. This is how we learn, internalize, and form appropriate value-based behavior... based on doing "good." But this does not last over time.....when entering primary school, positive stimuli to form behavior disappear and, in their place, abruptly appears "punishment" as a teaching method to control evil and achieve doing "good"....And this behavior is maintained until the end of our days.....and, it is taken for granted that achieving good is doing the right thing and, even more, it is taken for granted that all this is a "duty" and does not need any positive stimulus..... because "you are already older and you should know what is right and/or wrong...".....
Let's go back to childhood.....if caregivers did not have time, were careless or, left education in the hands of third parties.....the caress, smile, were replaced by a toy, or money or something "precious" from the material world....doing good begins to be conditioned to obtaining "personal material gain"....and the repetition of this, during growth, fixes and conditions the firm belief and behavior, in the mind of an adult: "I realize that doing good, doing the right thing, is what enriches and satisfies me personally... and if the result of this action is neither good nor positive for those around me, then that's not my problem... they'll have to find a way to satisfy themselves..".
And, furthermore, whether material or emotional, the reward for doing the right thing no longer exists, since it's assumed to be a "duty." Human beings begin to search for the prize, and with so much time invested in their search, the "reason why they were searching for it" disappears.... The prize becomes the "meaning of life"... it's personal, it depends solely on you, and it doesn't matter what state our "surroundings" are in, nor the consequences of all the decisions we make in pursuit of the prize, the holy grail, the golden fleece, the pot full of gold at the end of the rainbow......
And we never find that prize, no matter how much we fill ourselves with... the distance between what I have and what I desire is always the same.....
  -extract of a letter for a friend. Author: Antonio Alex Pezoa Scharpe



An unexpected encounter
I'll tell you a hilarious anecdote that happened to me yesterday... and it raised another one of those questions that force us to relate situations, emotions, experiences, and what's happening in the world around us...
..... finishing work, I got off the elevator and, almost at the exit, someone tapped me on the shoulder and said "Hi Antonio!!"... I turned around and saw a woman a little taller than me, with short, neat hair, a brown skirt, a white blouse, and a tight leather jacket, a nice body... a kind of small purse, her face was familiar to me, but I couldn't place it at any point in my life... with a smile, she approached, kissed me on the cheek, and asked: "Don't you remember me?" looking into my eyes, while my face began to transform from perplexity to surprise, while a smile formed on my face as I recognized a different appearance: long hair, a t-shirt, jeans, sneakers, a little thinner, but with the same smile... "I'm Daniela Terpel. At university, I studied theater and switched to nursing."...
At that moment, neural pathways opened in the centers of my memory, and I remembered her fully... We were together for several months when I was in my second year of medical school, I think...
Hugs, laughter, and we went to a cafe to talk...
The point is this... this culture promotes the phrase "youth, divine treasure," but, particularly in the physical aspect... at the same time, it highlights "milestones" corresponding to each stage and that go hand in hand with what they call maturing. That is, behaving in a certain way depending on your age. The passage of time "crystallizes" and "hardens" a way of thinking through the repetitive use of only one part of the brain's neural pathways, which leads to precisely the opposite of the expansion of thinking, the use of intelligence, and the possibility of change. I have no problem with someone wanting to get breast augmentation, hip augmentation, lip augmentation, facelift, etc., but the contradiction between what they want to look like and their aging way of thinking, using their body, or behaving is becoming more and more aberrant...
On the other hand, we have those who are "restless" from birth to their final days... a perfect "harmony" between body and mind, seemingly always in keeping with their chronological age.
There are people in the world who are tremendously brilliant, intelligent, and "advanced" in the use of their body and mind...
When you contemplate public works of engineering like a bridge, certain architectural structures, elements used in medicine for surgery, incredible learning software, or a simple bottle opener... these are people absolutely open to the freedom of change, to adaptation, to creation... their body, their mind, and their age form an exquisite circuit in constant movement, never still, always "eager" for the new... one cannot remain impassive, one cannot help but see the exquisite use of different neural pathways and the interweaving of different visions to create something (as you do on the piano)... that is freedom, curiosity, and rebellion... that is "change," that is the basic characteristic of "youth." But that cannot be "bought" in a store, nor does it appear spontaneously when fixing one's personal aesthetics or remodeling one's body...
I realize that people "age" long before That their body is considered that of an "elderly adult" or someone of the "senior age"... there's no plastic surgery for that....
The difference between one's actual age and the body one shows is already altered by adolescence in the vast majority of cases... the "death" of the possibility of "change".......
Anyway, that chance encounter made clear to me this difference between the physical and the "mobility" or "immobility" of the internal structure of what one really "is"....
...... corollary, I am an adolescent and immature...... hahahaha hahaha......
-Extract from a letter to a friend. Author: Antonio Alex Pezoa Scharpe



............ about this ......Sad but True

Yesterday I felt incredibly tired, I must admit... I was and wasn't seeing patients... the day passed slower than ever!!!!... but it finally passed!!!

Regarding the message, I had to and have to delay it simply because I ran out of money (my taxes were substantial...)... You know the saying: "death and taxes"... Whether it was Benjamin Franklin or Daniel Defoe who popularized it, it doesn't matter... Equating both words, so unequal by the way, has become a cross that every citizen must bear everywhere in the world... The funny thing about this is that those who hold power, at least in South America and most likely also in Africa, always manage to minimize or make the payment disappear... hahahahahaha the word "shameless" or "heartless"... is too small for them...
I'm bored talking about this subject, but it's a reality in this country and in most South American countries... The inequality gap between those who have and the most dispossessed is... overwhelming... and, the "people without swing" who monopolize power are... I would say... evil.......Just as described by Gabriel García Márquez in "100 Years of Solitude" or Eduardo Galeano in "The Open Veins of Latin America".......And the funny thing is that, as a whole, it is a tremendously rich continent....there is everything...even one of the largest "lungs" on the planet.........but we do not row in the same direction....each one clinging to his purely personal interest (I am not saying that worrying about oneself is wrong....on the contrary...it is very important) and all the rest is just "fodder for the cows"....I am not saying either that being "rich" is wrong or harmful to society....if you want to be rich you can use your whole life to achieve it and it is your problem how you want to live your life.....being rich should not be a problem....what I see in South America, and in Africa too, is something that has to do with genetics....the path to wealth upsets the man or woman in these continents, some gene manifests itself and others are inhibited, changing the functioning of the neurotransmitters, and then, these people who reach power end up using old neural pathways, atrophying a good part of their already limited brains... ultimately, the result of these imbalances translates socially into a laziness towards thinking... and from other parts of the world, neither fools nor lazy, they come and take away what makes this land fertile and rich...
it is a stormy, devastating truth, whether whoever likes it or tries to deny it or distort it with "sophist" arguments, whoever takes advantage of this truth... but it is the truth and... the "truth is never sad"... what it has no "remedy"...
And I say that I am bored talking about this because I see no way out or solution to this truth... Ordinary people say "we are part of the evolved human being".... but evolution is not seen, no learning from history is seen.... what is seen is a continuous and sublime "recapitulation" of the way of To live....
What is the evolution of someone who was born with a cell phone, a bicycle, a skateboard, or a corkscrew in their hands? The "object" doesn't matter; it can also be a "feeling" (like the absurd "religious patriotic feeling" of those born in Israel or Palestine... and they die with that feeling without having changed a thing!!!!...) .....whether it's a feeling, a corkscrew, a cell phone, an airplane, a castle... you are born with it and knowing how to use it, and you die the same way... in that "living" there is no evolution.....
It is the "creators," those who use their brains, those who change things, some artists, some engineers, some teachers, a few ordinary people, those who have evolved.....and, my dear .....they are the minority..... the rest are born and die using what a few created, and they foolishly believe that by knowing how to use those objects, they have evolved..... Hahahahahaha... Albert Einstein said, very clearly in several speeches... <There are two "infinite" things in life... human stupidity and the universe... and I'm not sure about the universe> .... hahaha I got carried away by the simplicity of my answer and the depth of its effect....
I'll ask you later and answer other questions...
Now I have some things to do...

We talk in a while through "echoes that resonate in the air we breathe"......😜😉
-Extract from a letter to a friend. Author: Antonio Alex Pezoa Scharpe-






Tuesday, August 19, 2025

Sex, Love and Music.... Chapter II: The third age ....


   Where does love lie?....

According to human research at Oxford, in a study that included both men and women under a well-designed questionnaire, while undergoing evaluation by CT and MRI, six different types of "love" were defined. These types reside in similar places but maintain their own characteristics and neuronal niches that differentiate them. It should be noted that the questionnaire applied to the study subjects did not consider the inclusion of questions about desire and sexuality (an important question for linking love to sex).

Couple love
Parents' love
Children's love
Nature's love
Animal love
Friendship love

All related to the basal nuclei: Thalamus, Putamen, Insula, and which extend their dimensions to a territory around them, with couple love being the most extensive.
This relates to the Greek hypotheses that described different types of love. This conception was later altered (Religion, Catholicism, and the Middle Ages), leaving only one concept of love that encompassed all the previous ones. This fact clearly illustrates the influence of man in human relationships, and the abandonment of the divine, which is replaced by concepts closer to the law and the laws that govern humankind.

The concept of love, according to the ancient Greeks, is not a single concept. It clearly differentiates between several concepts, now overlapping, according to the needs and development of human society, technology, and relationships established according to legal criteria, to facilitate the administration of the law. 
In this conception, what concerns sexual desire is clearly differentiated from what concerns other types of love.

Agape (ἀγάπη): Selfless, unconditional, charitable love. God's love for humanity. Altruistic love.
Eros (ἔρως): Passionate, romantic love. Sexual passion and desire.
Philia (φιλία): The love of friendship, an affectionate and loyal bond between equals, between close friends.
Storge (στοργή): Familial love, the natural affection between parents and children, or between siblings and other relatives.
Philautia (φιλαυτία): Self-love. A human need or moral failing (vanity and selfishness).
Xenia (ξενία): Concept of hospitality and ritualized friendship, demanding generosity and reciprocity toward guests.
Ludus: Playful love, flirting, laughter, and casual connection, in the early stages of romance.
Pragma: Mature and pragmatic love, based on commitment, mutual understanding, and the search for common ground for a long-term relationship.

EROS AND AGAPE.....LOVE IN ANCIENT GREECE

The historical definition of sexuality encompasses the set of emotional, behavioral, and practical phenomena associated with sexual pleasure. On the other hand, within the anatomical context, sexuality refers to the physiological and psychological-affective characteristics and conditions that characterize each individual's biological sex. Biological sex is what characterizes us as "male" or "female" from birth (or even before). In its most basic expression, the sexual organs determine a person's sex and only allow for these two variables. Gender, on the other hand, is the set of ideas, beliefs, and social attributions constructed in each culture and historical moment based on sexual difference. It evolves over time and as social ideals advance. It is strongly linked to the stereotypes of the time and to the well-known "gender roles," which assume that a person, by being of a certain sex, must have a certain gender identity and, therefore, must act as their gender dictates. Gender is directly linked to sexual attraction, since based solely on sexuality, heterosexuality would be the only known orientation. Thanks to these definitions, different forms of love and affection have been recognized, but what is love? Love is defined as the bond of affection that arises from the appreciation of the other and inspires the desire for their good. On the other hand, according to psychology, love goes far beyond having an affinity with another person. To love is to respect, connect, and feel completely free with another. But many years ago, the ancient Greek civilization attempted to explain and define love by separating it into four fundamental types: Philia, Sacrament, Agape, and Eros. Philia is linked to friendships, implies affection and caring, is fraternal, and is based on promoting the good of the other. It is usually based on admiration and implies having genuine appreciation and joy for the good of the other. Storage is the love for family, it is a love that occurs naturally and the only thing it can do is increase progressively, it occurs in parent-child bonds normally, it gives relevance to commitment and physical appearance is irrelevant, it is worth mentioning that it was also the least used term. Agape is the strongest type of love, due to its selfless and honest nature, a voluntary and unconditional love, where the basis is to accept the other despite their imperfections, it is not at all superficial and implies absolute surrender, this concept was widely adopted in the Christian religion. Eros is an ephemeral love, purely romantic and passionate, its name was due to the God of attraction, passion and fertility, it is a type of love based on the physical and sensuality, it submits to the whims of desire, hence its ephemeral nature, and yet, the naturalness of desire makes it capable of evolving into a deeper love. It is well known that the Greeks were among the most advanced ancient civilizations of their time, and this is a clear example of this, they classified the different types of love, and it is even believed that they accepted homosexuality, however, over time this acceptance was lost, especially with the arrival of the Christian religion, which, despite being the clear representation of the strongest type of love according to the Greeks, used the concept for their own convenience "God sacrificed himself for us because he loves us, but God hates homosexuals." And yet, within that irony of Agape, in religion there was a certain logic that was also linked to an old Greek belief; For many years, this spread the rumor that homosexuality was the fault of sexual desire, that is, Eros love, love for which according to the Greeks, a person was capable of going crazy by submitting to the desires of their most primitive instincts, which made homosexuality be believed to be an illness, a disorder, madness, hence the popular belief that they can “cure” or “convert”. Therefore, historically sex and gender have been turned into some of the most complex taboo subjects to deal with, years ago they had their own definition as something not serious, and it was even considered normal, but the changes in ideals and the distortion of religion were what turned them into what they are today, a mixture of points of view and opinions that are not in singular harmony.
                               Ivette Bautista Mejias. UNAM. Mexico.








 The old man's madness.

He turned over in his heart, remembering his own words: "I don't want you to send me to dating sites... I don't want to being around AND around looking for you or masturbate With other girls, and if I wanted to, I'd choose where, directly... If I want to see you... it's because I want to see you... I don't want to see another girl, no matter how old she is, and I don't want to wander and flip... flip through pages and pages of dating sites."

I'm not looking for a wife... I'm looking for a true companion... who finds me "beautiful" and I find her "beautiful." Having a free moment to exchange emotions... this sensuality can't be solely sexual in nature...

I'm not cynical like the vast majority of conservatives who, in public, openly degrade all these dating or sexual encounter sites according to Christian morality and... secretly, they themselves, in their supposedly well-established homes, are the biggest consumers of sex in exchange for money... etc...

Aaahhh, but they openly praise retirement homes for seniors and manage your stay according to their beliefs and needs. Your own family takes you to them... an act they say speaks of "love"... of how well cared for we'll be... but the truth is... we're a nuisance... and they don't ask us what we want... they assume according to their selfish motives...

The elderly, we're a burden to all of them... because that's how they want to establish it... they look after their well-being and freedom instead of ours.......

- I understand you... I don't know what to do...

- There's little that can be done.....

__________________

  He had met her online, on Threads, and for some reason, they began to charm each other with words... and they dated... and the conversations grew longer and deeper.

He didn't mind that she continued with her work... when they were together, their glances, words, and caresses radiated true affection...

She found in him someone she could tell everything to without being belittled or jealous...

They both found each other beautiful...

The entire circle surrounding them made them feel their contempt and violent stupidity.

It wasn't just the young people; it was also their relatives and older people who pointed them out as an embarrassment to society.

A supposedly evolved society, free from prejudice, supportive...

It was clearly demonstrated that the crystallization of thought, closed to change, freely circulated among young, adults, and old, men and women.

Suddenly, a fire siren sounded. I shuddered, the pencil fell from my hands. And a clear human figure appeared before me. Her face was unmistakable, dark brown curly hair, thin and flowing over her delicate features, of unparalleled purity. A gaze that spoke from the heart without saying a word. Communicating enormous feelings and emotions. She approached me. The dim light from the window clarified the shadows on her face. "Jessica," I said.

And recent memories collapsed on my head, triggering an awakening of feelings, emotions, thoughts, and clear theories about the passage of time in the life of a child becoming a young person, a young person becoming an adult, an adult. He's growing old... an old man who faces the scorn and sarcasm of his fellow men, and the inescapable fact of the last door he would open in this world, with this life...

Jessica had made him see how absurd and unevolved the way of thinking of a growing man remained...



         The slavery of the imagination

...Yeah... I'm an old man to society, to the skewed view of youth, which sees youth existing as long as one is in a "young body." But, from the moment the adolescent "assimilates" the established order, he buries his curiosity, not asking any questions, blending in with his friends and peers, imitating clothing, tattoos, music, ambitions... his brain, which is just developing, begins to be used less, "stiffening" his way of thinking, telling himself... "everything is as it should be"... he has begun to "age" in his thoughts, in his emotions, and, finally, in his actions... he is an "old man" trapped in a 16- or 17-year-old body...
So, from the "point of view" of "wear and tear" and the basic need for movement, since "movement" sustains "life" (every organic object that does not move rusts and dies), we have two "youths": the "physical" one, which will deteriorate over time and, moreover, to which the system of "capital" and the "economy" have placed a comparable value. and competitive with the "currency," enslaving their mind to the "young" body... and, the "mental" youth, which doesn't wear out as long as it remains active and curious, relentlessly, and over time, its vitality increases with the increased use of alternative, usually unused, neural pathways...
And, two "agings," the "physical," which leads the body to disintegration and death... and the "mental," which, contrary to the above, if the neural network isn't kept "moving," begins, in the vast majority of the population, urban and rural, during adolescence, considered "useful adolescence" by civilized human morality, and considers the world static, fixed, and as it is perceived.
- Pamela : Wow... a certain correlation between the biological, the tangible, with the psychological, tangible in its social and behavioral effects. With a genotype and its corresponding phenotype interacting and influencing each other!!!

...And, this is the most interesting part....whether you believe in God or Natural Selection or not, the only thing in our body that can be "transcended" is the "mind".....it's the "intangible".....hahaha, ironic, or not???!!!>
- Felipe: Hahaha...that is to say, "we chase our tails our whole lives"!!!!....hahaha..


- <. ...Axiom I: Based on the above.....the old human, seeing his body wear out and, with an "aged" way of thinking since his adolescence, feels that he is losing the "only" tangible thing he has...his body.
This leads to feeling "useless" and "depression," which was previously a condition or illness of adults, becoming increasingly common in youth, beginning early, modifying the ability to adapt, crystallizing into repetitive, vicious behavior... this being the reason for the negative feeling towards the passing of the years... a negative feeling that slowly self-destructs one's own body... >
-         :... I remembered a song by a rock band, "Living Color," called "the cult of personality," in this case, "the cult of the body" ....

- < .... Axiom 2: .... Therefore, when you tell me that I am an "old man," knowing your addiction to the tangible, to the body, and to the mental slavery to which you subject yourself, telling yourself, "things are as they should be"...... I take it as a "compliment," and I am glad that you consider me.... old..... because I accept bodily aging as part of the eternal cycle of life, without beginning or end... and the strongly negative ideas that the vast majority live with don't penetrate me, and neither hostility nor depression find much foothold to develop... hahaha... 
                        Extract from "Tales under the high heels". Chapter 12. Author:Antonio Pezoa

________________________________

   Sensuality at your service

... It was sudden, unplanned, I felt electricity in my hands and feet, my abdominal muscles contracted involuntarily, my hands, like robotic limbs, surrounded her... the kiss, her tongue, her lips... provoked me... excited me... a sensation I had never felt... she pulled away smiling at me...
< - Did you like my congratulations??!!.... hahahaha...
- I don't know what to say!!... It's... I don't know... an accumulation of vibrations and sensations that move from the surface of the body and go towards my genitals, which take on a life of their own... it's... tremendous... + I said timidly - I'd like to do it again!!>
< - Yes, it was so good... I liked it!! Will you walk me back to my apartment??>
... I followed her, she took my hand... I didn't know what to do. We had talked and chatted a lot before, and she knew I was having sex for the first time. That's why she named me "17" (teen) and "w" for Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse... She was talking, but I heard her voice from afar... and I didn't know what she was talking about... I was nervous, trying not to show it... the trip was fast. We got off the bus and walked in the shadows of the "Nuñoa" trees... suddenly, she turned, came closer, hugged me, and kissed me... deeply... I felt her body penetrate mine, that the limits of our bodies were lost... she whispered sweetly and slowly...
<- Calm down, everything is fine, let me guide you through everything... relax? You're with me, with the woman you really, really, really like...
And, let me tell you a secret? I like you even more... ever since I saw you in the gardens, smoking, reading, singing... >
....his voice was almost silent, caressing me with his words and his lips brushing my skin... I felt good... good... it was so delicious!!!.....
   With that clear smile, relaxed facial lines... those curious eyes, with a half-turned, but determined gaze... a lock of hair crossing her left eye, down her nose, crossing her mouth and lips...
Her right hand rested on my left shoulder and gently, brushing my skin, moved up to my neck, slid back, and gently but firmly pulled me towards her... I, with all my age... trembled just like the day we joined our naked bodies for the first time... 44 years ago, 44 books written on our skin... and the touch, the softness, the sensuality... exactly as we experienced it. 44 years ago....
... His lips kissed my ear and his tongue moistened my skin, and his calm, firm voice, surrounded by water vapor, whispered in my ear...
< - ... I told you why I came from Greece... a feeling, a force born from my guts, sending tremors and chills all over my skin, guided me to you... all the other things I must do are all secondary... I came to see you... to be with you...
and I found you, and here I am, longing for you to enter deep inside me... uuifff...> - a soft bite on my ear... his wet tongue slid into my mouth... lips parted, not fully joined, but mm, and tongues embracing, playing....< And now I want to eat you whole!!!!> 

                         Chapter 12.  "Tales at the high heels". (extract). Author:Antonio A.Pezoa Sch.

  As always, the musical themes attached are related to the content of what is written. The purpose is to raise concerns and engage your intelligence. The themes are presented as "stories".

  My intention is not to modify your thinking, only to encourage its use. The writing is mine, and I assume its content (with the exception of the themes indicated at the end). 

 As for the interpretation, it is up to each of you.




El sueño del old man.....ligar a una niña mas joven....



Tuesday, July 15, 2025

Progressive Jazz Rock. Billy Cobham's first album. If you love jazz rock....you have to listen this !!!!

 

.... Monday night... Yesterday I went to walk through the streets late at night, a cold that leaves your facial expression fixed, the water vapor exhaling from your mouth and nose fogging up your glasses... there is a certain beauty in walking at this hour through the empty streets of Santiago..... when Billy Cobham came to Chile, in 1982, the dictatorship had imposed a "curfew" since 1973...
Two generations lived the afternoons and evenings locked up at home for 13 years, without interruption... 
It seems like a foreign story, from a nonexistent past... but it was very, very real...

   

Anyway... Billy Cobham came to Chile in 1982. Along with bassist Jeff Berlin and I think Lavitz on keyboards (I'm not sure). The story goes that they hammered their accentuated rhythm,  into the double pedalof the bass drum and the syncopated hammering of the snare drum, ioms and cymbals... a jazzy bass line with its own identity of Jeff Berlin, ... generating an innovative blend of jazz, reggae, rock, punk, and fusion in "song" format... a delight for the ears...

I'll leave you with a classic. Cobham's first LP, Spectrum. 1973....
If you like jazz fusion, this is a must-listen.

Lelan Sklar. Tommy Bolin. Jan Hammer. Other musicians participated on percussion and wind instruments.

Enjoy it....

<Tolerance and empathy are enhanced to energize the will and avoid gaining unnecessary heavy  weight....>

Have a delightful night/ shining day/ !!!


Book TALES UNDER THE HIGH HEELS. 2025
Author: Antonio Alex Pezoa Scharpe 

Chapter 11
"Tale under the dictatorship oppression"

//...Fellow poets,
taking into account
how implacable the truth must be,
I urgently need to ask
what should we say,
what truths should I respect?
If someone steals food and then gives their life... what should we do?
To what extent should we,
practice the truths...
to the best of our knowledge?
So let them write history, their history..."
..//(Silvio Rodríguez; Playa Girón)

.<.- Speak slowly, and don't move!!..
- It's 7:00 PM, the sun has already set and the neon streetlights have come on...
- Yes, but there are 7 blocks left and the curfew started an hour ago. Neither the police nor the military will have compassion...
- It's still better for the police to take you, not the military... those are sons of bitches...>
..... My eyes hurt from the tear gas and there was the smell of gunpowder in the air. It was almost winter, and the icy breeze stirred the leaves of the trees and bushes... their shadows formed strange shapes, and sometimes faces, bodies, or hands formed, moving toward where I was standing... it seemed as if they were accusing us of being outside the law... the cold touched our bones, and we couldn't move until the soldiers on the corner of the next block retreated... I felt my legs tremble and weaken. My backpack was heavy; it held the anatomy and physiology books I'd borrowed from the university library.

We had been at "Mario"'s house all afternoon, ever since I left the university, making leaflets by hand to distribute around the town, so people could join the university students for the march we planned for the following Thursday at noon in downtown Santiago.
Another half hour of uncertainty, between bushes, trees, and shadows... when the military bus departed, we separated from the shadows and began a quick trot... one street, one block, always without speaking and close to the walls so we could blend in with them and the shadows... another street, another sidewalk... almost at the end of the fifth sidewalk, bright lights dazzled us and a voice over the loudspeaker paralyzed our muscles...
<Stay still, hands where we can see!!...>.....The bright glare made it impossible to see anything, but we heard car doors opening, closing, the sound of boots hitting the asphalt, running toward us...
A large shadow bends to my right, at the same time I feel a blow, a dull pain in my right side toward my lower back, pushing me to the ground...
<Get on the ground, you fucking kids!!...Drop your backpacks! >
A foot crushes my lower back against the pavement...and I scream out loud....< - !! We were studying at a friend's house and the time slipped by.... I have my books in my backpack.... Felipe is by my side, walking me home and will stay with me...!!.. I live two blocks from here....on Lucrecia Borgia, across from the Copec gas station....
- The ID cards!!
- Here they are!...
- You are under arrest under the state of siege law... We'll  escort you to the Belén police station... >
They put us in a patrol car and take us off at the police station... They search us all over, take off our belts and order us to take off our shoes... We hand over the shoelaces and put them back on... A door opens, they push us down a hallway and shove us into a cell, the iron door creaks and after a slam... We are left in a dark room, 3 x 3 meters, the floor damp, full of irregular accumulations of what seems to be water... The fetid smell of excrement and urine, of confinement and uncertainty... The cold makes me tremble, standing against a wall, absolutely in the dark... We stand side by side so as not to fall and crash, to position ourselves and not... despair....
< shut your mouths, you fucking kids!!!!>

.between sweat, cold, uncertainty, bars, walls, grills and fear....I reviewed part of my life... ...9 years since the military coup....9 years of murders, raids, disappearances... fascist propaganda..... difficulties to satisfy basic tastes....9 years of curfew...9 years of dreams.....of hiding at dusk.....walking among shadows....listening to the music that delighted me deeply, in cassettes worn out from so much use...of wearing second-hand clothes or the ones that were too small for my older brother....of seeing the neighbors grow old with their faces full of bitterness......of seeing my mother wash and rinse clothes in cold water with pain in her hands... but with a look of penetrating love and a smile that flooded our house with joy............and, ........with all of the above !!!, we smiled.... a force engendered in the decisions of our father and mother, filled an intangible part of our body but that was the driving force of everything we learned and did, We dreamed, we thought, we gave.......
.......and the night passed, standing, backs against the wall, shivering from the cold, hunger...dizziness and nausea from the stench of the environment, at 05:45 hrs. Footsteps were heard in the darkness... the sharp, painful, and penetrating sound of the rusty metal prison door creaking open, a voice, more respectful than the one from the night before <Young people outside, your identities and addresses have been verified, and the absence of terrorist offenses has been confirmed. Please come and get your things and you may leave. Don't forget, ever again, that curfew starts at 6:00 PM...>
...we gathered our belongings, our lanyards, and belts, and left...as we left, we said our goodbyes...and I began the long walk home.....
.....it was cloudy...in the distance, the sound of horns and cars moving...cold...tiredness...and...walking...walking...walking...
Arriving home, the yellowish light of the outside lantern was on...the end of the journey...the kettle boiling with its characteristic sound...silence in the living room...and the bedroom... the bed...and I collapsed.............
     ________
_______________

<....."""...and that's the difference, comrades..... we're not here to defend our own pockets....
we're not here to maintain the illusion of freedom that slavery to money gives...
... we're here... because by birthright... freedom is ours!!!!
freedom of thought... freedom to choose how we want to live... freedom to choose to do something for other people...
... freedom to stand in our streets whenever we want!!!! .... the freedom to tell the dictator that we don't accept delegates imposed by whoever is in power, like our leaders!!!...
we elect our representatives... our deans... our presidents... we elect ourselves... all of us!!!!!!!.......
.........................
- That was good, Pezoa..... he could have also emphasized the conglomerate of the socialist bloc that supports us....
- yes, but you ...You know... I have something very anarchist going on in my head...
- See you at the Café del Cerro... at 3:00 PM...
- See you...>>>>
.... The structure of the hydraulic mechanics pavilion at the engineering school was... impressive!!... high ceilings... Roman-style column......the echo of footsteps and voices was from a natural quadraphonic sound system.... I imagined the French horns, bassoons, cellos, and violins resounding in that space while the notes danced through every corner... "The Heroic"..... Beethoven's majestic third symphony....
  This was where I spoke a few words as a representative and candidate for vice president of the southern campus of the medical school.....
  Here, those from all the universities debated and gathered, those who wanted to overthrow the dictatorship and its imposed representatives....
  Here, the social history of the country was written............
........at the end of the school, a wet kiss, the close contact of a strong, tight hug, of a warm body reactive to my caresses, the contact of hand with her hand, of my chest with hers....and the brush of fine blond hair on My face, along with a crystalline smile, was waiting for me... a shiver ran down my spine and the prickling of my skin took me to another dimension beyond everyday reality... giving way to other sensations, nuanced by labored breathing and a fine sweating that gently took over all our senses...mmmmmhhhhh....
...... laughter, words, events, anger, studies, the weather, life, the rich, the poor, the rigidity of their parents, soft skin and biting tongue, shared melodies and rhymes, silly seriousness, intelligent laughter... everything began to flow between the words we exchanged as we stepped on each other's toes or high-fived.....
< - Maria Olga Herreros Cattani... you cloud my everyday thoughts and open me to another ethereal dimension, black and white slowly separate from each other and there appear colors I didn't know existed....
-. Hahaha, I'm going to lick your nose, your ears, and here and there...mmm...
- here!!...on the bus??
- Yesssss...,...>
..a deep kiss consumed the time....
The bus bell rang..... we both looked out the window....
<- here we get off!....
- Yesssss....eheheheh!!!....>
..we walked laughing, fooling around, talking... the businesses in the same order always... and the entrance to the south campus of the medical school... on one side a funeral home, on the other side, a bar... hahaha,...
...... entering the campus, between the casino tables and the grass, the divided groups tacitly indicated who was who..... a singular peculiarity of classmates who talked about the normal beauty of women, captivating, flirtatious regardless of physical attributes... the "plastic" beauty of the woman who knew she was pretty, but lived only for that...... and the "remarkable" beauty of the woman who knew she was beautiful, she had accepted it, 
...but it was secondary; her interests and thoughts elevated her above her appearance, radiating another beauty... profound...
I don't know the exact reason, nor the neurosensory pathway used in the "externalization" of the characteristics that define beauty, its appearance, its perception, nor the perception and exaltation that the observer places on the definition of beauty, of their ability to convince other people that what they see is their own and not theirs...
We sat at an outdoor table, while the chords of "Yendo de la cama al living" by Charly García played...
< - How was the assembly, Antonio Alex, in engineering? - Super good, the architecture of the place is incredible!!!!... Mario, I told them about the location of our headquarters and what the socialist bloc's program would be... but you know me... maybe I went a bit off-script... hahaha... I don't like "mental bars"... the bloc is what most closely resembles my way of thinking... but it doesn't accurately represent me... and the communists, with their "seriousness", always walk around with sour faces... sometimes, on purpose, I say phrases in English and laugh inside because I know it pisses them off... hahaha...
- Antonio, are you coming to physiology classes?
- No, I'll stay with Herreros Cattani here on the grass for a while...
- Remember the osmolarity seminar tomorrow, Friday, first thing in the morning!!!
- Thanks, Nadia.... see you tomorrow...
- Little one, I'm going to ask my classmates something and tell them I won't be going to class either... but first, give me a kiss... mmm... delicious!!.... wait for me, I'll be right back!!!
- Okay, little one....
- I'm going to tell the cafeteria manager to turn up the Charly!.... Mario, can you get me a strong coffee, please? >>
.........
...hands, arms, abruptly climb onto my shoulders from behind, thighs and legs hug my waist and cross in front of me, holding on tightly...blond hair falls before my eyes and I feel a bite on my ear...a body, breasts press against my back...
< I'm back!!!... did I take too long??......  mmmmmhhhhh.... how delicious.... how delicious.... let's go!!.....>
..... laughing, hugging, kissing, merging our bodies we left..., Walking toward the exit... many, many eyes on us... envious glances from the big, muscular men... smiling glances from young women... scrutinizing glances from professors... knowing glances from friends...
........
.....on a campus where I sat on the grass, a cigarette in my mouth, books at my sides, playing guitar on winter afternoons, where the University of Chile's obstetrics, nursing, and medicine programs met... with hundreds of girls laughing, talking, interacting, where the boundaries of the social, the intellectual, the emotional, the sensorial became blurred, shifting, mobile like leaves released from the stems of trees, swaying in time with the wind... spinning in singular somersaults unique in the entire universe, illuminated by faint flashes reflected again and again, between atoms of carbon, nitrogen, hydrogen, and oxygen constantly altering their bonds with all the intertwined organic matter..... alternating  with each other, generating movement, colors, shapes, light, in harmony with everything... I, sitting, looked, felt, gave, received, with an eternal smile, drawn on my face by my parents, and, possessing an effervescence multiplied by the intimate contact with those around me... I smiled... I smiled...

//... I received a letter and opened it...
When my eyes shone, I understood...
When I had wings, I flew...

When she called me, there I went...
When I realized, I was there...
When I found you, I was lost...
The moment I saw you, I fell in love...

Amara zaia zoié, zaia zaia ingado annn

When I had nothing, I desired...
When everything was absence, I waited...
When I was cold, I trembled...
When I had courage, I called...

When you called me, I went...
And without realizing it, I arrived...
When I found you, I lost myself...
And when I saw you, I fell in love. //(Pedro Aznar. At first sight).


Monday, July 14, 2025

NO SOY UN EXTRAÑO

 Hello everyone...or the few who follow me and are interested. I've never shared the trend of the charts, billboards, best-seller lists, etc. I've always followed my taste and my thoughts, so it doesn't bother me that very few people read or listen to my words, somehow written in these songs I put up here.....

I've been busy today and these past few days with a new project... changing jobs...etc,  which will leave me with a lot of free time in the coming months.....

I am infinitely grateful to those who have helped me become who I am....
And... who am I???... 
hahahaha....
"classy, sassy and a little bit bad assy".... jajaja (I saw those words somewhere ...but they are where they have..!!! )
 Thanks to some others who have left behind their musical evolution in these corners of my mind..

I hope you enjoy it... Now, I'm lighting up a "candle" to distract myself... 
"I'm feeling calm and starting to think that we  shouldn't fish... twice with the same net!!!!..."









Saturday, July 12, 2025

AI ..... PLASTIC DOLL VENDOR ?


 

 https://youtu.be/pR5yMZjBjzY?si=Z2qssr0UrIeQDfym


One of the great Argentine progressive bands of international quality, "La máquina de hacer pájaros" (The Bird Making Machine). Formed by Charly García, formerly of Sui Generis; Oscar Moro, formerly of Los Gatos, Color Humano; Carlos Cutaia, formerly of Pescado Rabioso; José Luis Fernández, formerly of Crucis; Gustavo Bazterrica, Los Abuelos de la Nada; ....
Active between 1976 and 1977, already pre-cybernetic in those years, they created this song: "Vendedor de Muñecas de Plástico" (Plastic Doll Vendor).
I hope you enjoy it, progressive rock of the best kind...

The song is current...
The image of the AI woman is spectacular; she fulfills your fantasies and desires, she does whatever you want...
She's your ideal companion...
Both women and men search the internet for what we can't find, or don't see, in our immediate circumstances. I'm not saying it's bad or good. Let's get rid of the fashionable morals and the prejudiced "moralizing" of religious or scientific origin.
This isn't fiction, it's real, it's in Threads and on social media. The need to "be famous" surpasses even economic needs.
But nothing is free. Benjamin Franklin coined the motto "Death and Taxes," and absolutely nothing is safe from the commercial network.
The perfection of the face and body, the seduction of sensuality, the promise of a sexuality free of communicable diseases, create a perfect setting for masturbation. Let's be clear, masturbation is not sinful, it's not harmful, and it's within reach... hahaha. Both men and women should have practiced it throughout their sexually active lives. It provides a positive and empathetic tool in a relationship.
This links to another topic, which we will discuss another time... prostitution and pornography, which are two different things, but which conservative morality conflates with human trafficking and drug trafficking. And this mixture remains so because the power groups use it and thrive as long as it continues to function, on the fringes of family culture, but functioning.
The truth is never sad, says a Catalan singer (Serrat), what it lacks... is a remedy.
We must abstract ourselves from prejudices if we want to understand and comprehend these truths and realities.
Pleasure is a reality and a structured function in our organism. Linked, socially and under commercial protection, to the formation of a family, to the maintenance of civic social structures, to marriage and love. Relationships historically constructed and accepted as inescapable truths... but which leave a "taste of doubt" about their scientific and philosophical interaction.
One of the principles of valid action in humanism, from the Siloist movement, described in "The Inner Gaze" (a book that should be part of formal education), says:
"If you pursue pleasure, you chain yourself to suffering, but as long as you don't harm your health, if you don't harm anyone, enjoy without inhibition when the opportunity presents itself."
You can accept it or criticize it... but that demonstrates your ignorance, your fear, your guilt, your ignorance and lack of depth, your superficiality...
Whether you are a republican and hide it or want to eliminate it, being religious, or a revolutionary and want to expose it, or make it a way of life, being anarchic... AI exists, the plastic doll is now digital... Power sells and manipulates it, the religious demonize it, the scientist minimizes it, both the rich and the poor use it by victimizing themselves, the artist makes it explicit, the moralist dehumanizes it, the fool despises it... anyway... your prejudice has probably already prevented you from continuing reading or finishing listening to the song...

Until the next digital date... (I have to go online and masturbate now... hahaha...) 


Los libros de la buena memoria

Los libros de la buena memoria....me pareció un título apropiado para finalizar esta primera desordenada parte de este blog....una suerte de...

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